


Goodnight

by Kumiko



Category: Original Work
Genre: Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 06:45:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11270154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kumiko/pseuds/Kumiko
Summary: She watched for months as it happened, but was powerless to stop the inevitable.





	Goodnight

She woke up that morning to the sound of her mother's music played through the television via Bluetooth. She didn't care much about the song, but her youngest cousin barrelled into her room to sift for a change of clothes. She was a little annoyed, but he quickly left the room to do whatever it was he had been doing. Apparently her mother had done laundry, and just came back from the Laundromat. The woman was an early bird after all.

 

She hopped out of bed, and immediately changed. Of course she ventured into the living room to see her mother and cousin fully and prepared to leave for grocery shopping next. Her mother smiled at her asking if she wanted to tag along, but she refuse the offer. She would rather play her own music and relax a while longer. 

 

Not long after sitting on the couch and rubbing her dog, her mother burst into the house holding a bunch of bags in one hand. She knew after the car accident they had been in that her mother still had whiplash in both shoulders. She quickly put shoes and helped carry some inside. 

 

After she was done, her mother told her to get dressed to visit her grandmother. Her grandmother was always called “Nano”. The woman was the pillar of the family, but ever since January she'd been in and out of the hospital due to amputations on her right leg. She also suffered a heart attack after the surgery due to the anesthesia. No one wanted to admit that though. She knew since that surgery that the woman who motivated her to go to college, to be strong and smart, would never come back. And she didn't return completely. She was a shell of the independent woman who worked since she was 15 until she was 65, raising her five children and grandson. After many frustrating and agonizing months, Nano had finally lapsed into not eating or responding. Just Monday she was in agony. The girl was told that her grandmother’s kidneys were failing. So she dutifully went to visit Nano, but every visit hurt. 

She climbed into the backseat of the car with her cousin, mother, and aunt to see Nano. They reached the fourth floor, and saw the room empty. Nano was currently in dialysis. So they waited for her to return. 

 

She hopped on the counter to sit down. Her grandmother quickly arrived. Nano’s eyes were opened, but she couldn't form words anymore. It had been a rapid descension from before, but that was a different Nano. Her aunt and mother crowded around the woman who was supposed to be Nano, but the older woman didn't speak. It was almost as if she wasn't there. 

The sight was less horrifying than when Nano stopped breathing and needed a breathing tube with dialysis. That day left the girl feeling numb and conflicted as she watched her mother cry, but she knew she couldn't or else the younger ones would cry too. 

 

The girl watched her former grandmother simply stare, not remembering when she last ate. Not remembering her daughters. 

 

Originally the visit was for the amputation of Nano’s big toe on her left foot. Her right leg had been amputated just above the knee. The surgery would be a huge blow to her prideful grandmother. Except the older woman’s blood pressure dropped dangerously, so the hospital was watching over her closely. 

 

When they said goodbye. The girl didn't touch the woman; she simply stared. It was hard to imagine the older woman even remembering her to find the touch comforting. 

 

Hours later just after dinner, the girl’s mother's phone rang. It was the hospital from her worried/scared tone. Immediately the family kicked into action. Her brother had returned home a few hours before, and her father just arrived. Her brother said he was driving and the girl promised to watch over her mother. 

 

Her brother sped to the hospital, rushing to get the rest of the immediate family. The girl, her cousin, mother, and aunt all rushed to the fourth floor for a second time. This time the hospital wanted to ask for their final requests. Nano had stopped breathing by herself. At last, her body had failed her. 

 

The girl’s heart squeezed in trepidation, but her cousin was there and he wouldn't be able to be calm if she panicked. They walked into room 4110, and saw Nano using a breathing tube. Her body was still except for her chest. Her mother and aunt cried on sight. 

 

The girl’s throat hurt from resisting to cry as well. She wanted to reach for Nano, but held back. In her heart, she knew the worst was finally here. 

 

Her younger cousin began to cry. She immediately hugged him, and brought him out of the room. He was frightened that they would lose Nano, and she had no words of comfort. So she admitted that she was at a loss for words, and simply hugged him. 

 

She wandered around the halls, going back and forth between the room and the waiting room. Family and friends pooled into the place, but every visit made her hurt. This was the last day, and she couldn't even say “I love you”. The woman wouldn't respond if she rubbed her head, or kissed her forehead. They would never talk about the older woman’s past or play Spades. They would never watch Korean/Chinese dramas together again. Refresh Man with Aaron Yan was the last one they would complete together. And they had so many queued. 

 

And then she hurried away from the scene. She went to her older cousin and hugged him. His eyes were rimmed red, and he started crying. That one action broke her down. She cried and cried. 

 

The reality of the situation hadn't spontaneously happened. It had built up over six months. Her mother pulled her aside to announce that her mother and aunt would pull the plug. And the suffering from pain spasms due to the amputations, the bedsores, and the bone cancer would finally end…

 

She stayed away while it happened. She wasn't strong enough to hold it in after watching Nano breathe her last breath. When her mother told her it was done, she went back into the room and finally touched Nano’s hand after a lot of hesitation. 

 

It was cold. The longer she touched, the colder it became. Nano’s tube and lungs had stopped pumping air. She was just… Gone. 70 years, and the woman who experience all sorts of hardships with a strong connection with God was gone. Hopefully in heaven, seeing her own mother and grandmother. Hopefully in paradise staring at God. Hopefully not in anymore pain. 

 

Her thoughts were overwhelmed with sadness and pain. What would she do? Nano was her best friend. She knew so much about the woman, and her best friend had died slowly inside, until she finally did completely. 

 

She rubbed the cold, dead hand and whispered “goodnight, Nano” in her mind. There would never be a day where thinking of her suffering, thinking about Nano’s last days would never be easy to stomach. She only hoped that time would make this empty feeling hurt less.

**Author's Note:**

> My grandmother died June 21st, 2017. If you were wondering about an update on my stories, I'm not sure when that will happen. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I haven't abandoned them, and I'll give them my all. But I'm going to put things on a hiatus indefinitely.


End file.
